homemade blues

I just realized my last entry was on July 26. I guess I enjoyed being home again (after the 2-week course + exam!) too much.... Yep. Definitely too much... :)

I've put up a tentative ad on FB - at the TKC page. And yesterday I received a call from my aunt asking me whether I'm interested in a job. And just 2 days ago, I got a message in FB asking me whether I'm interested in a copywriting job. Wow. Are the floodgates opening? God works in mysterious ways. My options are really varied now. What's a girl with problems in making decisions to do?

Ramadhan is coming up fast. Soon it will be Aidilfitri. Then Christmas. And then it'll be 2010. Time flies so fast. I'm dreading the moment when the decision will be have to be made.

2 things happened last Thursday and Friday that just amazed me how extraordinarily small our world is - when you get about to exploring it...

1stly, on Thu I found out that my DESK-mate in the translation course I've been in, was my ex-schoolmate's younger sister! How amazing! I mean, I did initially notice that her father's name sounded vaguely familiar, but I didn't even think to ask her about it. And in the process of getting to know each other in the first few days, I mentioned my school, and voila! The rest is history...

2ndly, on Friday night, when I checked my FB requests, I received a friend request from someone I didn't know. The name was foreign to me, and I almost clicked on the "Ignore" button, but I decided to check out her profile. It took me a moment to re conciliate her picture and her name, but when I did, I gave a loud squeal that even took G by surprise.

It was an old, old, friend - my pet sister, actually (G already started thinking dirty thoughts) - from school. She was my senior by 2 years, I think. Needless to say, a whole lotta memories came flooding back, as well. I lost all contact with her when she left school. So that makes it (mentally calculating) about 21 years ago? Wow! And to think we re connected in FB. Well, it's hardly unbelievable, but it's truly amazing. Well, to me, at least.

She's been in Australia a little more than a decade. And it so happens that she's coming back to Malaysia the first 2 weeks of Aug. "We must meet!" she typed, while we chatted in FB. Another reunion in the works. It's going to be busy, busy, busy...

Next week Saturday, my understanding of the techniques of translation will be put to test... Horrors! I haven't had to sit for any type of exam in a decade.

Today's pace was a bit different from the past 4 days, namely because today's lecturer is a different person. But we had some good exercise in translating newspaper articles. And already I have homework. That's another thing I haven't had to do in a while.

As expected, other projects have been put on hold - my writing, my other two blogs... Hopefully I will have more time to spend on those once I'm done with the course and get things going where I want them to. Power of positive thinking, y'all!

Tomorrow I'm going to make some price comparison on several reference books I need. Now I do need to get that particular bookstore's membership card...

I haven't heard this saying for a long time - language is the soul of a nation. I suppose I have forgotten it. And in the past few days, I have been shamefully reminded what it truly means...

This course I'm attending - Course in General Translation - is unlike what I expected. In 3 days, I've learned more about my own language than I have in the past 35-odd years of my life. And in addition, I learned about history, communication and culture. It's more than what I signed up for, for sure.

Just to share what new Malay words I've learned so far (look it up in Kamus Dewan):

taslim = analogy
andal = reliable
ketaksaan = ambiguity
lema = entry
tuntas = meliputi/menyeluruh = comprehensive
pencar = diverge

All thanks to a certain passionate and dedicated patron of the Malay language. You'd have to take her class to believe it.

...THAT is the question.

I bought D two new books from MPH on Saturday, since we just finished the earlier book I got for him - Stories for 6 Year Olds. He's got a voracious appetite for books nowadays. I hope this lasts forever.

So there I was, at the counter, and the cashier asked me, "Do you have a member's card?"

I glanced at the sign on top of the cash register - Extra 10% off for members when you buy ANY children's book (or something to that effect) - and sighed glumly, thinking that we all could use an extra 10% off of everything, and answered, "No."

And while waiting for the cashier to scan the barcodes, I looked into my bulging purse, which already had every space available for cards filled, and wondered, do I really need another membership card?

I've already got membership cards for - let's see - the gym, a hypermart, a petrol station, a department store or two, a gift shop, a toy store, one book store that I hardly go to these days, several clothing boutiques, a golf club...

The ones in my purse are those I go to quite regularly, so I can get quite decent discounts and rebates or such. And I've also got another card holder for those cards that I don't go to so often, but would come in handy when I do. At the rate things are going, I may need another card holder.

Of course, the credit cards that I have also offer discounts or rebates at participating merchants, but I don't use the cards often nowadays (I'm trying!). And different retailers collaborate with different banks, anyway, so if I'm so desperate to get discounts, then I'd probably need a credit card from every bank in Malaysia.

And there are times that different credit cards offer different promotions from the same retailer. I tell you, it can be so very confusing.

I see the problem - every seller have their own terms and conditions on offering discounts, and members get the info on the latest promotions more effectively if it is managed by the sellers themselves. It's not that nobody came up with a solution to merge the retailers and offer one card for consumers to use - e.g. Bonuslink, Real Rewards.

But these are more on points collection, rather than discounts and rebates offers; the J card, however, offers both - points collection and discounts at participating retailers. If only you would remember to show the card to qualify for the discounts - I can never remember (!), and it would only occur to me when I read the card's newsletter or such. Of course, by then, it's only an afterthought.

Now, when people offer me membership cards, I would usually decline; my normal excuse is, "I don't have anymore space in my purse." And even if I'm tempted to, I would think of the form I would have to fill in, and the time to do so. I would also think of my details would be stored somewhere, and being on the receiving end of un-ending promotional messages on my handphone, as well as calls from unknown corporations offering me more discounts and/or rebates and business opportunities (!) - although I believe this is more from the credit cards...

So, no more membership cards. For now.

But...since I'm buying books more often, that extra 10% off would really save me a lot in the long run... Hmmm...

Firstly I want to apologize to those on my email notification list for those 2 out-of-the-ordinary blog entries that were mistakenly sent to you (I completely forgot about the notification, but of course...) prior to this one. Just so you know, I'm starting to dabble in the art of freelance writing jobs, and those 2 were purely work-related, so... again, I apologize.

On the other project I'm working on - a.k.a. the story - I am, yet again, hit by writer's block. I'm stuck at re-writing the first chapter - torn between too much detail (meaning unnecessary exposure) and not enough (meaning unimaginative writing). It's oscillating between being sickeningly bloated and anorexically lean. It's a nightmare.

And unfortunately, this is also the time I'm hooked on Bejeweled Blitz on FB. I just can't get enough of beating my own best score. It's uncomfortably addictive, and I should quit cold-turkey. I SHOULD. Sigh.

I want to go to EPF, and do some money management, and also wire some money to Oom's home account, and oh... Papa is here.

I can't divulge the details, but he's in a spot than I so DO NOT envy. I don't even want to know. I just can provide moral support and hope things will work out for the best. I'm really sorry for him, though. I know it's not his choice to be involved in all this...

So this morning, I was looking for my glasses. I vaguely remembered putting them next to my pillow before zonking off (we came back late after attending a colleague's wedding dinner), but this morning, I just couldn't find them. I looked everywhere, the bedside table, under the bed, the dresser, the bathroom, which was not very easy considering my short-sightedness.

I searched calmly; I wasn't running late - in fact, I got up early. I wasn't too worried that I wouldn't find them because I have another pair, and I can always use my contacts. But they were my favourite pair, so... Anyway, I almost gave up, and I went to the bedside table again for something else, and then, I saw my glasses, just sitting near the edge, at the foot of the bed.

I was very sure that they weren't there just a moment before. Very, very sure. I didn't feel anything out of the ordinary, like the hair at the back of my neck stand up, or a chill down my spine, or whatever it is you're supposed to feel when something weird just happened. I asked G if he had put the glasses there. He didn't even know I was looking for them. Hhmmph.

So I guess I'll just chalk it up as another unexplained mystery.

This wasn't the first time something disappeared and re-appeared unexplicably. The last time that happened, it was in my mother's house in KB, and it was A's milk bottle. It was just so bizzare. It was late afternoon, and A was alone, sleeping in my parent's room. When I heard him cry for his milk, I went into the room to fetch his bottle which was just next to him.

To my surprise, it wasn't there. I knew it was there before because I saw it there, when I went to check on him earlier. I looked all over the bed and the room, but of course, it just wasn't there. I called Oom to make another bottle, and by then, he had already woken up, crying, and both Oom and I looked for the missing bottle. Even Oom confirmed that the bottle was on the bed when he first fell asleep.

We still couldn't find it, then I asked Oom to pick A up and bring him outside. I watched Oom walk out the room with him, and then looked back to the bed. Lo and behold, the missing bottle was there, next to the pillow A was sleeping on. I was absolutely sure that it wasn't there before, because I had almost turned the whole bed upside down looking for it earlier. Weird, huh?

At that time, I did feel a prickling sensation on my neck and along my spine. But I was more annoyed than freaked out because I needed the bottle earlier to pacify A! I told G, and he thought nothing of it. "You found the bottle, right? Just let it go," he says.

Ok, ok. I believe already.

I had great time meeting up with BY last night. We had dinner at Ani Sup Utara at TTDIJ, and then coffee at Starbucks at Plaza Masalam before I dropped her off back at the hotel. The boys joined us for dinner, but I had to send them back because A was getting restless... :)

It was great to catch up and BY is, as always, great company. I missed her infectious, bubbly laughter and sunny personality, and she had plenty of those to share, although we had discussed somewhat serious issues (namely her career...lol) during dinner and coffee. Water Dog, you're a good friend. Keep the tail wagging... :D

And today G is coming back. Joy! He should be here around early evening. I know it sounds soppy, but as much as he annoys me at times (and vice versa), I've always felt un-whole (is there such a word?) when he's not around. I guess the term "better half" does have some merit. And you'd better not be smirking when you read this, mister.

I still have hang-ups on my literary abilities, of course. But today is a happy day. Thank God It's Friday...

I was thinking - which is never a good thing, because I tend to over analyze - about my life (so far). I've got two wonderful (and quite two handfuls) boys, a loving (and sometimes quite annoying) husband, an amazing helper (which I don't know what I would do without), a great group of girlfriends (they know who they are) and a caring family... And I've come down to a conclusion that I'm downright - ordinary.

Hmmm. I've always liked ordinary. I've always abhorred attention of any kind. I've always felt comfortable being "unknown". I've always made choices that won't expose myself to any chance of negativity. And I think I've gotten too good at it, so now I'm not only "unknown", I am also "forgotten".

Hold your horses, peeps who know me and take time to read my rants.

I've just been dwelling on the fact that I've no idea what my talents are. What makes me special. I know I'm kind, and sincere, and known for my integrity and empathy, but what good is that in a dog-eat-dog world we live in these days? I've been given this opportunity to find out what I want to do (that I enjoy) and after almost 6 months, I'm still trying to figure it out.

I've been mulling over the idea that I can write (I'm working on it!), but I don't know if I'm any good at it. What if people can't relate to it? Or worse, what if people don't like it? Can I handle criticism? Or worse, can I handle rejection?

I read other people's blogs, and most will have something that they're passionate about, and so will write about, and will have pictures about, and...what do I have? I write about being passionate about writing, but what do I have to show for myself?

I know, I know. But if you don't try, how will you know? And if you fail, try and try again... Yadda-yadda-yadda. Saying it, is not like experiencing it, ok? I don't even know if I'm ready to go there. Arrrgh! It's a lifetime of insecurities, I must say. I'll readily admit that I'm a coward, afraid to take risks to avoid getting hurt. And avoid hurting other people who have great expectations of me.

It's not of an earth-shattering issue, of course, this low self esteem of mine. There are others having worse problems a million times over. I'm just like an insignificant speck of dust on the top shelf of the cabinet in the room under the stairs...

Forget you read this entry.

Probably because I napped earlier in the evening. I shouldn't have, I know. But I felt so sleepy, and oh well, what's done is done...

The other thing is that I had another one of those spats with G. We were so okay these past few weeks - maybe the good run couldn't last any longer - but I was a bit disappointed that he's upset upon my insistence that he spend tomorrow with me and the kids. From Monday onwards, he'll be on a week-long job in Kuantan, and although he was on leave this week, it was more like a working week, since he was busy preparing for the tournament, and meeting up with people for future projects.

It is a strange feeling, that I crave his presence more than I did when we weren't staying together. And coupled with me being at home more than I was 6 months+ ago, now that I'm at home every time he comes home... I dunno. I don't expect him to be stuck to me like a conjoined twin for every seemingly mundane spousal task, of course, but isn't it a fair expectation that I get a piece of him, when everyone else can?

I guess it's just one of those days when we have to choose who gets to be happy. He chose to make me happy, but I know that he's unhappy, and so his choice now makes me unhappy. What a guilt trip. Sigh.

Even so, I'm not going to apologize for insisting this time. I hope things will be better in the morning...

Hmm... D is talking in his sleep. He's mumbling, "I love you, Ibu (Mum)" - which he usually does when he did something wrong, or when he wants something from me, or when he wants to distract me. I wonder what he's dreaming about.

A is recovering from an off-and-on fever he's been having the past few days. He's been quite active and taking food and drink well throughout, although with a higher than normal temperature, so I wasn't that worried. His temperature is almost back to normal since last night, so I'd give him another day before I take him off the fever meds.

Other than that, it's been quite boring, this last week of school holiday, since we're all recovering from the trauma of A's health scare. School starts again on Monday for D. Back to the grind then.

Some semblance of normalcy is back in the house. This week was spent vegetating at home - the only bad news we had was that Wan Umi had an accident, which fortunately didn't involve anyone else, and caused no bodily harm. Maybe some post-traumatic stress and a bruised ego. Other than that, it was just her car and a road divider, that resulted in the whole front bumper and grille being torn off. We're waiting for the verdict - how much it would cost to repair. Oh well, at least the car can still move. There was minimal damage to the engine. I think.

Other than that, I spent most of my day in the room this week, ever since we got back from the hospital. I've been re-reading the Twilight saga, and writing my story - well, it was more like re-writing. And then re-writing some more. I keep adding to the chapters, as I kept coming up with different ways of telling the story. The 1000 odd words I had per chapter now have swelled up to 2000 odd words. It's becoming an epic.

But just now, suddenly, I'm at a loss for words. Hmm... I've exhausted my vocabulary, I think. Or maybe, I'm just exhausted. I know I can become obsessed quite easily about things. And I know I can be distracted and bored just as easily. The trick is, to keep it interesting. How now, brown cow? Oh dear.

Tomorrow we'll bring the boys out. God knows they deserve an outing after being cooped up in the house the whole week. Next week is still school holidays. I need to come up with some activities for the boys. Ones that don't require much money, of course. But I did promise D we'd go see a movie. Maybe "Monsters vs. Aliens"? Hmmm... the one with Reese W. That should be interesting.

Adam, my dear son,
I will never forget 25th May 2009. It is, and will be, another page in the history of my life that shall mark me forever.

The bout of vomiting you had over the weekend before and the fever you were having a few days prior already had me worried. I was considering to bring you to the hospital to set up an IV line so that you could get the necessary fluids in your body, since you couldn't keep anything down. All weekend Bibik Oom and I were trying to get you to eat or drink something, but you just vomited everything out. Even water.

But I took the risk, and brought you to see the pediatrician that we always go to, and he gave the anti-vomit medication, while advising me to go straight to the hospital if your condition worsened. Your temperature didn't register higher than normal when we were at the doctor's, and I thought things will take a turn for the better, as we drove home.

Even as weak, and as tired as you were, from not having enough food to provide you with energy, you could still give me a smile, while you rested on the bed, watching your favorite Blue's Clues video. At least, by this time, you could drink some milk without vomiting, and I left you with Bibik Oom while I went to my room to check some emails and talk to Abah.

The next thing I remember was hearing Bibik Oom screaming from downstairs, that there's something wrong with you. I rushed to open my bedroom door, and she ran up the stairs, with you in her arms, looking limp and almost lifeless, face ashen, lips tinged with blue, and eyes rolled upwards.

My heart stopped, and I called out your name, and quickly took you to the bathroom sink to wash your face. Getting very limited response, I could feel panic settling into my bones, as we quickly rushed downstairs to get you to a hospital. Everything after that is now a blur in my head.

I could only remember shouting to your brother to get into the car, calling Abah and screaming that you're not breathing, telling him that I'm going to the nearest hospital, feeling helpless and terrified that I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time, driving as fast as I could in the evening rush hour but managing to pick up Abah on the way so that he could drive and I could hold you. I also remembered your brother calling out to me, asking me to calm down. So mature for a 6-year-old.

You felt cold. And you wouldn't respond to us calling your name. I remember checking your pulse, and your breathing, and I remember crying, feeling like my heart was torn out, praying to Allah to not take you from me yet, that you still have so much to live for. That I need you to live. So that I can live. The 20 minute drive to the hospital seemed forever and endless while I was trapped in helplessness.

I must've looked like a mad woman as I stumbled, crying, into the emergency room with you. The nurses took you and put you on the hospital bed, and you lied there sleeping, while they set up an IV line and hooked up all sorts of wires onto you. I felt I couldn't breathe as I tried to explain to them what happened. Words came out all jumbled up, and I was stuttering, as I tried to calm down and compose myself, assuring myself that you're okay, that you're breathing. That you're still alive. That was all that mattered.

Your Abah and I thought the worst was over, and after the necessary registration and documentation for admission into the hospital ward, I stayed with you, while Abah took Bibik Oom and your brother back home. I remember you then waking up, and tears of joy welled up in my eyes, and you didn't want to be put down, so I carried you, trying to soothe you while waiting for Abah to come back with your milk and clothes from home.

I remember calling Ama and Kong2 to tell them what happened, Wan Umi as well. Wan Uda and Wan Usu came to see you, but you refused to be near anyone else, so I held on to you while waiting for Abah. When he finally came, you wanted to drink some milk, and I was only too happy to see you drinking without vomiting. The specialist then came later, and after I repeated what I had related to the doctor in the emergency room, she came to the conclusion that this episode happened due to electrolyte imbalance - since you were vomiting and not keeping anything down the past few days. We agreed that you would be monitored this night, and further examination will be carried out later.

Like I said, Abah and I thought the worst was over. I was lying on the bed, a bit calmer now that we have spoken to the specialist. You were about to doze off, and Abah was carrying you, as he would only leave when you have fallen asleep, when suddenly he called out to me alarmingly, that you had gone stiff in his arms. I saw it this time.

You looked like you were going to vomit, but you couldn't, and started convulsing instead. I hit the emergency button next to the bed, calling frantically for the nurses to come. I took you from Abah to lay on my shoulder, you jerked around like you were being electrocuted, I was thumping your back, your eyes rolled upwards, there was secretion coming out of your mouth, Abah was calling your name, he was pressing the emergency button repeatedly, I was calling your name, you were turning blue, you weren't responding... where are those @#$%^& nurses!?!

Looking back, it seemed like a scene from TV - in slow motion. As I held you, still convulsing, the feeling of helplessness and despair came swiftly. When will this end? My head felt heavy. You felt heavy in my arms. I wanted to stop breathing. If you had left me, now, tonight, I wanted to die, too. I couldn't imagine the world without you. I prayed to Allah. Please, God, please. Please...

The nurses finally came and took you from me, and Abah and I had to step aside, watching them tend to you. The convulsions finally stopped after a minute that seemed like an eternity, and then you slept. A curtain of peace across your face. Had Allah heard me?

Abah and I took turns to stay up throughout the night, watching for the slightest inclination of another episode. Thankfully there were no further episodes, even after we transferred you to the hospital Aunt Liz was working at, the next day. And after 5 days in the hospital, where you were back to your cheeky self by the third day but we had to finish the 5-day antibiotic course, we are now back home, and I could hear you now, laughing and throwing things downstairs.

You are back. Life has never seemed so fragile and so...temporary. God has given me another chance with you. I know it was selfish of me, to forget that your brother, too, and Abah, as well, need me, if something were to happen to you. But at that moment, when I thought I was going to lose you, and I would do it again if it came to that, I would have given my life in your place. As I would, if it happened to your brother.

We have Aunt Liz to thank for all the strings she pulled to get you a bed in the hospital. We have the doctors and nurses in both hospitals to thank for helping us in our time of need. We have to thank Abah and Bibik Oom and your brother, Danial, for being the gravity in our lives, for holding us all together. And mostly, we have Allah to thank that this is not yet your time to leave this world.

I love you, my darling son. More than you will ever know.

Your mother.

I did it. I started writing. It's not much of a story yet, but I'm getting there. I'm already at chapter 4, and at almost 5000 odd words (according to the word count displayed in MS Word). I didn't know I had so much to say... I wonder if punctuation marks are also considered as words... Hmmm...

Anyhoo, I'm quite embarrassed to share it with everyone just yet, but I may invite a reader or two to give comments. You'll know who you are when you receive the invite. :)

Apart from that, life has been quite routine. I managed to go to the gym twice this week, and I fasted on Monday and yesterday. I have been so engrossed in writing that life is taking a step back for the moment. I think I'm kinda in the zone, and words seem to just appear in my head and I've got to type it down, lest I forget. I can soooo relate to what Stephenie Meyer (author of the Twilight series) wrote on her website. Though I didn't dream of vampires... :)

I'll post again when something interesting in my life happens. Hope you all have a good day!

For starters, I saw Twilight today. It's, in essence, a love story, and I see now why Rob Pattinson (Edward Cullen in Twilight) is such a hit with the girls... Oooh-la-la... Those brooding eyes... Very different when he was Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.

Sigh. I remember those days. Young love. So naive. So mysterious. So intense. I was brought back to memories of such emotional intensity. And a memory of brooding eyes. Hehe. Can't share too much here. Don't want to give the wrong idea... But, I have been thinking... I've always wanted to write a story. What better than my own experiences (and inexperiences)? And I've always loved stories about love and relationships - happy love, obsessive love, puppy love, unrequited love... Maybe I will. I'll let y'all know...

So what happened during my (almost) month long absence from the blogging scene? Let's see...

We came back from our Alor Star trip, then the boys and me got sick with fever and flu, then Nenek was admitted into the hospital, then I got my womanly cycles, and then I had to go for a BAKAT course... Yeah, that was pretty much it. Took roughly about 3 weeks of my life...

To elaborate further, we had a good time in Alor Star, and good company. I'll be uploading pics on Facebook, but maybe I'll attach some pictures in this post - once I hook up the external DVD/CD drive to this laptop (which I'm soooo lazy to do). Then we came back to reality and got sick - which was no fun (and it was probably onset of my PMS already).

Nenek got sick (-er than usual) and was admitted in Putrajaya Hospital during the Labor Day weekend. That was a whole drama in itself, and I have no wish to air dirty laundry and discuss family politics, so... let's just leave it at that. She back in Mak Usu's home now, bedridden and barely able to move, and I'll have to make time to visit more often. Make up for thinking negative thoughts, you think? Yeah, I guess.

I've been out of sorts since coming back from Alor Star. One, thinking about surviving financially without going back to a desk-bound job (hence the idea of writing keeps popping up in my head). Two, going back and forth to the hospital and ferrying Ibu around, while still going about my usual routine with Danial, it kinda took its toll and I suppose I was emotionally and physically tired. And three, it's been a while since my last - ahem - cycle, and I guess the hormones came to a peak level that affected my mood swing, which in turn, made me go into my "recluse"/"hermit"/"antisocial" mode. I'm still reeling (and still recovering) from the surge.

So this past week of my cycle, I've been quietly spending time at home, (and not even going to the gym, mind you), but I had to haul my a$$ to the BAKAT TUDM course which I had to go (or else G will get "it" - I dunno what "it" is, so don't ask). For the uninformed, BAKAT stands for BAdan Kebajikan untuk Anggota Tentera, and it's basically an organization made up of the spouses of the armed forces. Membership is automatic - when you marry a soldier, you marry the organization as well. I've never been active in their activities, but when your husband receives a letter from his boss telling him that his wife has got to go for certain activities, then you go, y'know?

But I had a good time - it was called Kursus Semai Budi, meant for the TUDM officer's wives, and it was a whole day last Saturday of lectures on what BAKAT TUDM is all about, the organization history and stucture and its activities, then followed by lectures on effective communication, women's rights in Islamic law, introduction to counselling (apparently the bases'/units' BAKAT reps have to deal with certain "counselling" jobs when required), and also on health - dangers of obesity and certain beautification procedures (e.g. liposuction).

I guess the course did achieve its objectives. To disseminate information to the officers' wives, to create awareness of the organization, and also to allow the wives to network. I went with Nisha, G's colleague's wife, whom I already knew, and I made some new friends. But in the corner of my heart, I hope this is as far as it goes for my involvement in this organization - I've heard too many stories of politicking - 'tis definitely not my cuppa tea. Thank you very much.

Yep, still not fully recovered from my "hermit" mode...

It's been a while since we actually had a getaway. Although G is working, the boys and me get to leave home and stay in a hotel for 2 nights... Hehe. I'm go glad G knows people. We got a nice room! Apparently Datuk Siti Nurhaliza stayed in this very same room once. Will update pictures when I can...

Now where do I go? Gotta google what's "happening" in Alor Setar. Can't be cooped up in the hotel room all day, right?

I was reading Wild Thistle's entry today about history at Blethering Session and I was compelled to write an entry about it.

Being of Malay-Chinese parentage in Malaysia (or even in Singapore) has its pros and cons. I am somewhat accepted by the Malays because of my name and religion, and I'm somewhat accepted by the Chinese because of my blood - you would know if you know how clannish the Chinese are. Or the Kelantanese, for that matter. Anyhow, do I get the best of both worlds? Sometimes. I don't get considered as stupid and ignorant by my Chinese friends, and I get some of the privileges my Malay half is entitled to. Strangely enough, I get the impression from the Chinese people I know that they consider my blood diluted by my Malay half, but the Malays considered me enriched by the Chinese half. Interesting? In case you're wondering, my blood is still the same red color as the next human being... ;)

But that's how it is... Even so, I consider myself more Malay in some aspects, and more Chinese in some other aspects, depending on the subject matter. When it comes to ethnic loyalty however, I find myself skewed to the plight of the Malays. I feel sad when Malays don't take advantage of the priviliges that they are given. I feel sad when Malays are easily complacent when they have power and wealth. I feel sad when Malays step on, back stab, conspire, get paranoid and envy other Malays that they consider more superior in any way.

Envy. This is a powerful word. I sincerely believe that this the problem that Malays have. I don't know whether it's ingrained in our genes, or whether it's centuries of culture, or whether it's colonial strategy, but even since the olden days, I think that envy is the easiest downfall for most Malays. Isn't there a theory somewhere that Jebat killed Tuah because of envy?

Anyway, with reference to the present, I don't have to go far for an example. This base is rife with examples. The easiest one I can think of is when Nora and Mokz got their Peugeot 206. Or even when G and I got our Mazda 5. Nora and Mokz were the talk of the town. How can he, a senior AirDef major, and she, a housewife, afford to have 2 cars? Maybe he's on the take? And within weeks, some neighbours and friends (who are supposedly making more money than them) upgraded their cars. Don't matter whether it'll cost an arm or a leg or a serious family budget deficit. There are rep(utation)s to protect. Same goes for my neighbourhood.

It's always who has the latest gadgets, who's got the bigger / more expensive car, or chinaware, or clothes, or bling... And not only material stuff. Who's got the smarter child, who's got more maids, who's got more loving husbands, who's got the boss's ear, who's more popular at work... It's a competition. A race.

Even during uni days, the Chinese will study together, take notes for each other, keep a lookout on mates who are academically falling behind, play on their strengths on different subjects. The seniors will take care of the juniors, give their notes and reference books, give samples of past exams or quizzes. The Malays? Some will spend the first JPA allowance on a motorbike. There will be one or two groups that will make an effort to copy the Chinese, but if you're on the dean's list all the time, you're too smart for the rest of us. Maybe you've got a spiritual guide? You're chummy with the prof lah, that's why. Etc....

The way I see it, envy is a problem of all mankind. But the Chinese, they will use envy to better themselves. The Malays, on the other hand, their envy makes them paranoid.

That's all I have to say for now. I've got to pick up D from school.

p.s. "Pakcik" (old boyfriend) called me up 3 days ago. It's been one year? two years? oh well, yonks, since he last called. He suggested to meet and catch up. Should I? Hmmm.

Yesterday I sent Faiz, Fairul and Ann to the airport to KB. As much as I miss the little fella, it's good to go back to normalcy. And it just reminds me that I'm so not ready to have another small person in the house. It's now Fairul's turn to procreate. Haha.

But I did get the hang of bathing and washing-up a newborn eventually - and always ending up drenched in sweat! Like spending half an hour on the treadmill! It was great fun, and great practice. I only bathed my 2 boys a few times when they were newborns... Always it was my mother-in-law or my mom or the maid...

I also used the time that Ann spent in the house to share with her my experiences - dealing with children, dealing with husbands, dealing with mom-in-laws, dealing with moms, dealing with going back to work after maternity leave... I hope I managed to impart "some" of the knowledge that I have accumulated through the years. I thought it was great bonding moment. I hope she felt the same, although at some point, I did catch myself blabbing on and on like an old lady... :)

On another note, G's going away to Kuching next week for work. So the house will be even quieter. I know G is worried. I see it in his eyes when he comes home. I know he holds himself responsible for what happened with Abah and Ustaz H, although we all went into the project with our eyes wide open. And I know he doesn't want to worry me. But what can I do... I'm by nature a worrier. A natural worry-wort. I worry about my grandchildren already... :)

I just have to keep positive, lend a shoulder and an ear to G when he needs to vent, and not let G know the extent of my worry. Because if he knows how worried I am, he will be more worried. And I don't want the house to be any quieter than it already is...

As I write this entry, we are anxiously waiting for news of Cik Su - she's in labor... I got a call from Papa this morning at 2am. And while Ayah Su travels post-haste from KB to KL, G and I went to the Maternity Hospital, HKL, as requested. When we got there at about 3am, we got to know that we are definitely not allowed to enter the labor room (where Cik Su is at) - only her husband is - and even her parents had left for home. So we made an executive decision to go home as well and come back again in the morning...

9.30am: I just got a phone call from Ayah Su - it's a BOY!!! Woo-hoo!!! Eh, wait a minute... Now Ibu has 5 grandsons. No grand-daughters yet... Oh dear. Haha.

Ok. Gotta get everybody ready for the trip to HKL. Will update this entry later.

Perhaps I get bored easily. I figured it was again time to change how my blog is presented to whomever is interested to read it, and so... I got this from Blogger Templates. I like it. But I've got to figure out how to remove the navigation tabs since I'm not going to use it - for now...


I took this picture when I stopped at a traffic light. It was a beautiful, clear, blue-sky day. Too beautiful to not capture it on camera...





This entry is not about anything really. I'm still considering my options... (ref my earlier entry) and I am happy to say that I'm happy. I spoke to a few people about my "predicament" (so-called) and well, I've got mixed feedback. But all in all, everyone just wants me to be happy. My greatest fear is to talk to Ibu. Isn't that any child's greatest fear - disappointing your parent(s)? Well, it certainly is mine. As usual, I have a great deal of expectation of myself, so of course, this is all unnecessarily stressful. I know.

I mentioned it to Along - my take on all the years of indoctrination (haha) by my family (or at least, the women in my family), is that, to be less in-dependent, is to be less successful. But I take it positively. It is always better to have a dual-income family rather than a single income. What more in the bleak outlook of the global economy...

One thing for certain, I believe God has shown me some options. Just yesterday, I asked Fairul to buy newspapers for me, and lo and behold, there were advertisements on some short writing courses. Which just happened to catch my eye. I don't know why but it just struck me that I have options to pursue my love/liking/talent of writing. I'm not saying that I'd be writing the next Harry Potter series. But I don't know why it struck me as NOT being just a coincidence... Hmmm...

In any case, I'm thinking it's again time for change. Whether I like it or not. My life itself has had a major change this year. Personally, professionally, emotionally, physically. I've reconnected with friends, and family, and most importantly, myself. It's been a good first three months of 2009. All things considered. Going forward, there will be more change, and it's just how to adapt.




I took this picture when I went to check on a school for D. I haven't seen this tree lizard since I was a small girl back in the day (haha).








One thing to share, I texted Sharon B while waiting for D to finish his mengaji lesson, and so I found out why she wasn't working since Jan 21 (she's back to work, btw)... Apparently, she underwent an operation to remove a tumor! Thank God it wasn't malignant, and she was on one month's MC. That was why she called me to meet up. It just got me thinking again how precious life is. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.

p.s. I forgot - today's April 1st. But the above entry is NOT an April Fool's joke.

I'm in a dilemma. It's not that big of a dilemma. But a dilemma nevertheless...

A's operation has been postponed. To next year. 2010. Hmmm...

Story is - on Monday (23 March), we finally got to meet the actual pediatric surgeon who will work on A. A was asleep, as luck would have it, and the surgeon got a good look at him, and she told us that A is just too small for any operation(s) to happen anytime soon. She explained to us in great detail what she would be doing in the operation, and there are certain pre-requisites that need to be fulfilled before anything can be done. Particularly, the size.

"I can do it sooner," she says,"but there are too many risks of complications..."

So it has been decided for G and me. The next appointment will be 18 Jan 2010.

My dilemma is - as those of you who would know, the main reason (or excuse?) I requested for this whole year off from work, is to care for A. And of course, if you refer to my earlier posts (earlier than 1st Jan 2009), I wanted - needed - this break from work, because I believe I'm burning out. I really truly do.

Now what do I do?

I can't NOT go back to work. The operation has been postponed. It's against my principles to "trick" the company that I'm caring for my child when I am not. Even if I did, I can't request for another year of sabbatical leave in 2010. That would be... I don't have a word for it. That's not even considering whether the company would consider such a thing. I'm not anybody special that they can't live without. As it is, they are doing fine without me. I think. No news is good news, right?

But if I don't work there anymore, what would I do? I can't be staying at home permanently. How can we financially maintain what we have? And if I do want to work somewhere else, or work at something else, what is it? That's how pathetic I am. I don't think I ever had a dream. Or a secret ambition. I don't even know what my special skills / talents are. I just did what people told me to do.

I feel like I'm at a crossroad. And I hate making decisions.

Grrr. I had the best laid-out plans. Now it's back to the drawing board. I've been thinking since Monday afternoon. I can't think anymore. Correction. I don't want to think about it anymore.

What a week. Weekend to weekend, it's been the longest (to me) week-long school break ever.


Let's see. The Friday before the start of the school break we celebrated Danial's birthday ('twas a brief 15 mins or so) in his class... cupcakes and goodie bags for everyone...




And on the day itself (which happened to be Monday), we had another party with family and (some) friends... more cake!

Ibu made her famous Chicken Rice. She insisted. Even bought and brought the rice grains all the way from KB. Macam la kat sini takde beras... Anyhoo, needless to say, I gained back nearly half of the weight I lost... I haven't been to the gym (and couldn't care less about the diet) for the last, (mental calculation) umm, 12 days. Yeah, there'll be h!@# to pay. I'm re-starting the regime tomorrow.

Singing happy birthday...

Blow the candles!

Cut the cake! And I want dem bunny ears...

We stayed for a while, had good laughs, and then headed home for some deserved rest after all the activities. Monday afternoon I have to bring A to see the other doctor...

Monday

After D finished school, we rushed to SJMC (which I discovered has changed its name to Sime Darby Medical Centre Subang Jaya... I shudder to think how it will be abbreviated) because I had to take A's x-ray films from the ED before I go to see the specialist. A fell asleep (it was his nap time, after all) and I got a bit disoriented because there was some contruction work going on at the old parking lot in front of what used to be the entrance to the hospital lobby. Finally I got to the other designated entrance, dropped the boys and Oom off, and parked the car all the way over at the lakeside carpark (sounds very touristy). When we got to the doctor's office, I left the boys and Oom there, and walked over to the ED (which is across the road, so I used the link bridge) to get the x-rays.

Ok, ok. To cut the long story short, we saw the doctor, and he just did something to A's arm (which jolted him awake and got him crying) and he said (in not so exact words), "Ah, there's a sound already. He should be ok now." Huh? He proceeded to tell me that A had a pulled elbow, and whilst there was no bone dislocated, there was a ligament out of place, so he has corrected it. By doing whatever it was he did. If I had known it would be so simple, I didn't have to bring him to see the specialist, eh? Haha. That's why he's the doctor, and I am not.

By the time we got home, A was fully awake, and was starting to use his left arm to hold his bottle. By late evening, he had started to use both his hands to throw things around the house.

Sigh. Back to normal... All is good.

I originally wanted to close the chapter of the "What An Eventful Weekend" series... but we interrupt this posting with a news update...

I don't think it's an update per se. But I have come to a conclusion - perhaps many other women already have, so I may be a late observer, as always - that all men are CEOs. Reference to the point - they don't want to be bothered by details, they just want a solution. They don't care what it takes, they just want to see the results.

Case in point: D's birthday is coming up and we agreed to do have the party on Monday night. And lo and behold, a bomb was just dropped on me. "I have to play golf that afternoon," he says. Have to? Excuse me? Have to? Did someone strap you to a chair and threatened to pull out your fingernails one by one, or shoot you in the kneecaps, if you say no? So who's going to be moving furniture around, prepare the food and drinks, get the goodie bags together, blow up the balloons, etc., etc.? I can visualise the answer - "I'm sure you can handle it, the maid is there to help, you don't need me."

Who's child are we talking about here?

Thing is, we just had an argument about priorities, and responsibilities. I understand my role as the one who stays at home (for now) and his role as the one who provides. But the one who stays at home gets to do all the menial work, and the one who provides gets to "de-stress" (he calls it)? I know it's such a small, relatively unimportant and hardly mentionable issue like a birthday party, and I'm probably being too idealistic, but is it too much for some pysical involvement in something for our son? So what if he provides the financial aspect? Is that it? His involvement is up to that extent alone?

I am extremely upset. I have to stop.


Blog entry Friday the 13th, March 2009: Amends have been made on the day itself. Apology accepted. Arguments noted.

This was what I ordered for G and me. Salad Caprese - salad and tomato and feta cheese with olive oil and some citrus-y dressing...

Liz ordered this for her and Rastam. I know there is a grilled scallop (yum!) and cheese - but can't remember the rest of the details

Mokz ordered this for him and Nora. Gnocchi... something... I can't quite remember, but it was like a starch dumpling with carrots and spinach in a cream sauce... It was excellent! (recommended by the waiter - who, Mokz said, was a Malay chap from Kedah, it seems)

Then it was time for the mains...

This was what I had - oven baked salmon steak on a bed of grilled vegetables (cauliflower, asparagus, baby carrot) and lentils (ala, kacang dhal... hehe) with creamy caper sauce

G had lamb lasagne with grilled vegetables

Mokz had seafood lasagne with grilled vegetables

Nora punya - beef tenderloin with grilled vegetables and baked potato with sour cream, swimming in black pepper sauce... (macam menu mess night!) Can you see the steam? The tenderloin was so tender!

Liz had... hmmm... Lamb canelloni or something...


I've no idea what Rastam had... I think it was lamb as well...

And because G thought the portions were going to be small - like in Nerovivo - he ordered pizza!

Rastam and I both ordered this Chocolate Truffle Dome. Unbelievably rich chocolate-y taste!

Nora and Mokz had this Neapolitana ice cream... Smooth and creamy... Mmmm...

Liz had this Almond Pie which I originally wanted to order, but we still got a taste. So nice!

And in between, we had a great time laughing and enjoying each other's company. Everyone else but me had coffee later - I was stuffed! And we were finally ushered out of the joint because apparently, they close at 10pm! (I glanced at my watch as they gave G the bill, it was already half past 10pm... Hehe)

We did make a stop at the hotel lobby, where we were serenaded by a Filipino group at the lounge below - I didn't know this hotel was huge! And we chatted for a while and we girls watched some people dancing drunkenly ('twas some mat & minah sallehs with some chinese dudes...) while waiting for our guys to call it a night. We then drove Mokz and Nora home and got back to the house until after midnight...

Yes, I had a good time. The food and the company were absolutely wonderful. I'm so looking forward to our next outing. G says we should go to Red, KL Hilton - they won the best restaurant award for last year's MIGF! But not in the next 3 months. Because the bad news was - I gained a whole kilo! Grrr...

Phew. I'm tired. Another weekend (+early week) like this, I'll be considering to go back to work. Haha.

I'm going to be writing in chronological order, so we'll start with...

Saturday morning

Sent Ibu to the airport at 5.45am. We got there at about 6.05am, so she still had plenty of time to check in and wait for her 7.10am flight. It was on the way back home that I suddenly remembered to ask whether she had taken the flight itinerary that I had printed for her the day before. Thankfully she did. Haha. This story is not about that.

G and I slept in, and then it was time for D's outdoor golf class in Tropicana at 11am. We got there slightly after 11am, and after D and Miman went off to the putting and chipping green, G+Remi and I went to lepak at the golf club cafe. A was running around with Oom, and it was all routine until it was about time to go home. Oom came up to us, and A was crying his eyes out, and Oom told us that she had grabbed A's left arm earlier because he got dizzy after running around in circles for a while (yes, he does this quite often) and was about to fall hard onto the floor.

I got a bit anxious because A was crying much more than usual, and it looked like he was not using his left hand. He was crying throughout the trip to 1 Utama, then calmed down a bit as we went about our normal routine - lunch at TCRS, D's computer class (where we scoured the entire toy section of Parkson to look for Fareez's birthday gift). He even played a bit (it still looked like he was not using his left hand) when we waited for D's computer class to start, and then he fell asleep.

G and I debated whether we wanted to bring A to the doctor's before going to Kemuning Utama for the sleepover, but he was asleep, so we decided to wait and see what happens on Sunday when we pick him and D up. When we left them at Kemuning Utama, A had woken up, but was in a somber mood, and was playing quietly with Airis's toys. I sent a text message to Oom much later, and they were at the playground, and A was playing as well. Hmm...

Since Mokz had invited us to his house for makan in honour of his sister's birthday - nasi briyani ikan (yeah, i never had it before - i was curious), so we went straight there after leaving Kemuning Utama. I had a little bit of rice and the fish - it was delicious! And we stayed for awhile before going home to get ready for the dinner. Makan lagi!

To be continued...

Saturday
5.30am: send Ibu to Subang Airport, first flight out to KB - 7.10am.

11am: D's outdoor golf class at Tropicana.

2pm: D's computer class at 1 Utama. After class, send D and A (with Bibik) to Miman's house for sleepover.

4pm (or whenever we get back from Kemuning): Hi-tea in Mokz's house (his step-sister's birthday).

8.30pm: Dinner at Putrajaya.

Sunday
8am: Fetch D and A from Kemuning Utama because their cousins have a birthday party to attend at 10.30am.

Noon: possible invite from Liz for a birthday party. No details just yet.

The rest of the day should be free and easy - we all need some rest before Monday! :)

I still have to plan some time to meet up with:
- Along for some live music action (!woo-hoo!),
- Sharon B to find out why she hasn't been working since 21 Jan,
- Sahidah to catch up since she left Nestle last year....

Busy, busy, busy...

I've been trying to get the 3-column template up and running for my blog, and I spent the whole afternoon and early evening (with some breaks in between) downloading, uploading, browsing (for the aesthetically pleasing look), tweaking and re-adjusting... And I have to say, at the end of it, I'm quite pleased...

I went through several sites (as listed below)...
http://free-web-template.blogspot.com/
http://www.finalsense.com/
http://www.blogspottemplate.com/
http://www.freetemplatesonline.com/

...before finally settling on this one, which I downloaded from http://webtalks.blogspot.com/2007/04/downlaod-three-column-new-blogger.html

... and I tell ya, it's not as easy as I earlier thought. There are lots of help on how to do it - just google it.

I also spent some time to add some emails of friends that I want inform when I publish an entry on my blog so that they can be kept updated on my comings and goings and happenings (apart from the other social networking sites that we are all members of)... :)

Update from my last entry - Nenek seems to be doing better. Ibu just told me that she's now reciting the Quran, and singing the national anthem-s (of Malaysia and Indonesia), seemingly in good spirits. Until the next episode. Oh well, just like I wrote earlier, we're just waiting...

Today I was in a cooking mood, so, for dinner, I made Easy Steak Sandwich, and Mixed Salad with chopped Grilled Chicken (leftovers, actually... :)) and Honey Mustard dressing. Both sandwich and salad dressing recipes courtesy of http://allrecipes.com/ - which I really enjoy browsing through. Anyway, I consider it a modest success as G gave it a thumbs up. Since we're on a low-carb diet plan, I've been making an effort to not have rice at meal times, which of course, is not so easy... I'm trying hard not to think of Ayam Masak Lemak Cili Padi, or Nasi Lemak, or Kari Ayam/Ikan, or Sayur Kobis Masak Lemak, or Kurma Daging, or Nasi Kerabu, or Ayam Goreng Berlada, or Ikan Keli Goreng... OH NO!

Don't get me started on Mee Goreng Mamak, and Char Koay Teow, or Curry Mee, or Laksa Johor... And desserts! Big Apple Donuts, Cheesecake, Apple Pie (McD punya pun jadi lah), Ice Cream (Nestle also can)... I'm drooling already!!!

Another (or two) modest success - I've lost some weight since 2 and half weeks ago. Not telling! Until it's quite significant lah, then I will. And, I've also got some muscle (biceps and calf) showing from the gym sessions. I'm quite proud of myself. Hehe...*smug look*

Now, the hard part is... to keep the momentum going. I must update on the status of my 2009 resolutions in my next entry. Hmmm...

Ibu called me up yesterday telling me that Nenek (Grandma) is having one of her episodes again - refusing to eat, telling everyone that Atuk (Granddad) is coming to get her, talking to Atuk, etc... I called Mak Usu (my youngest aunt - Nenek stays with her), but she was just going home from work, and she said she'll call me when she gets home and after assessing the situation. Well, she hasn't called me yet up to this morning, but I'm not assuming the worst... Ibu is coming on the 9.05am flight from KB, and I'll have to leave in a while coz (as Fairul tells me) AirAsia had the earliest flight out of KB, so it's to LCCT I go...

I feel bad because - feeling bad is the only emotion I can muster up at the moment. Which will p*$$ Ibu off because she'll expect me to feel sad and anxious and beside myself, at the very thought of Nenek's possible demise. I feel bad because - this is already the umpteenth time Nenek has had this sort of episode, and everytime... EVERY time... she still... lingers (for lack of a better word). I mean, she's already - what - 80 years old, she's got dementia (or Alzheimers, I don't know), she can hardly move around, she can hardly remember her own name, she's depressed, she's unhappy, and I'm sure she can't remember why she's depressed and unhappy...

I feel bad because - I don't feel sad... Is that cruel of me? How can I be so unemotional towards this person - who apparently brought me up from when I was a baby, until I was 4 years old? Then again, I was never very close to her - I was closer to Atuk... Then again, I think I'm sort of resigned to the fact that it's about time she is relieved of her worldly burdens. It's been too long, I think, and she's suffered enough... We're just waiting...

Mak Usu just called - after all my missed calls to both her hp? - and told me that it was a false alarm... as expected... My 2nd youngest aunt, Mak Uda, was the one who called Ibu up and told Ibu I-don't-know-what... Oops, it's already ten minutes past 9am. Time to go to the airport...

Story is - I went to the gym as usual this morning, after sending D to school... There is a bench just before the entrance to the gym, which I usually see people sometimes sit there, usually after my gym session. But today, there was a guy sitting there. I didn't take much notice of him at first, and just walked straight towards the gym without looking left or right.

As I approached the bench, I heard someone giving me salam, and I was surprised that it was the guy sitting on the bench. I was like, "What? Do I know this guy?" and he gave me another salam, and then proceeded to say something like, "Kak, boleh bagi saya duit 4 ringgit? Saya lapar, nak beli makanan." (Loosely translated - Sis, can you give me 4 (Malaysian) ringgit? I'm hungry, I want to buy food.)

This all took about 5 seconds? But it was like slow-mo(tion) at the time - Matrix style - and I was still just walking along towards the gym while looking at the guy the whole time. I didn't say anything. I didn't acknowledge him. I didn't even blink (I think). I sort of went into auto-pilot mode and just walked past him, straight into the gym.

I've been replaying this scene repeatedly in my head, with various possible endings to this encounter, and I don't know... First of all, I was taken aback. This is in Subang Parade, ok? IN the shopping mall... I've never come across "beggars" (loosely labeled) IN a shopping mall before. Then again, there's always a first of everything... Secondly, the guy didn't look like he was "begging"... He looked like a guy in about mid-20s, wearing a white t-shirt, not clean shaven but not scruffy looking either, can't remember what pants or shoes/slippers he was wearing... Thirdly, is this guy for REAL?

In any case, I could see him leaving the bench after my 10-minute stationary bike warm up. I told Nora about it as we drove to Kelana Jaya (which we didn't even get to our destination because it was pouring rain!) and she told me I did the right thing. With so many cases of people being robbed via pukau (loosely translated as hypnotism) these days... You can never be too careful. Scary!

So the boys are in Wan Umi's house since Sat evening. This evening I'll be going to fetch them. The house has been relatively quiet, and both G and I had different plans to occupy our time this long weekend (apart from having some "we" time) which had been changed so many times until the day before.

Disappointment for me was - Liz and I didn't go for the spa session yesterday! Waaaaah! Story is, I made reservations for 2 persons in Serenity Spa, Grand Bluewave Hotel Shah Alam. We even picked out the treatments we wanted, and both Liz and I were soooo looking forward to this pampering session. Liz arrived in Subang at 10.30 and we were already on the way to Bluewave for our 11am appointment, when suddenly Wan Umi called. Lo and behold, she wanted to bring the kids to Wet World Shah Alam, and of course, since she didn't include me in her planning process, D and A didn't pack their swimsuits. Knowing D, he wouldn't want to use any other swimsuits or buy a new one, so in panic, Wan Umi called me to salvage the situation.

Long story short, I had to stop by somewhere to pass the house keys to her so that she can get the swimsuit from the house. D was in the car, with tears brimming in his eyes. Grrr. I don't mean to be petty, but this is one of those things she does that can make my veins pop. Always with last minute plans, and always expect people to drop whatever they're doing, or change their plans to suit hers. Sabar je lah since she's MIL.

Already irritated with that, when we got to the spa, we were informed that they thought when I made the booking, it was for a couple, i.e. man and woman (!!!) so they got a male and female therapist for us. WHAT?? I wasn't asked to specify that we wanted female therapists?? Takkan la nak get the guy to do body scrub and massage for one of us? WHAT??? So, tak jadi la. Liz kept asking me to go ahead coz one of us can still do it, but I can't leave her alone, can I? Patutla the Bluewave branch was not fully booked like the other 2 branches in Concorde Hotel and at Section 13. Double grrr.

We left Bluewave, then went to Plaza Alam Sentral - I know there is another spa there, but dunno whether they were fully booked or not. We did get there - the spa is called Dewi Sari Ayu, but of course, they are fully booked until evening. Triple grrr. So, what else to do? Went for lunch in SACC, and then browsed around before finally going home. Memang takde rezeki lah.

One good thing, Liz showed me this quaint place in SACC where we had lunch. It's called The Asian Cafe - they served Vietnamese style food which was quite nice. Liz had noodles with chicken slices in beef broth, and I had beef in 5 styles (which was actually for 3 people, I think - the portion was huge!). Have to ask G to go next time...

G arrived home soon after I came back, and we spent the rest of the afternoon watching Iron Man and The X-Files: I Want To Believe (the night before, we watched Tropic Thunder and Hancock, slept at 2am). Verdict: Tropic Thunder - watchable, but a lot of profanities. A lot. Hancock - I won't watch it again. Iron Man - watchable, but I had too much of Robert Downey Jr already... The X-files: IWTB - I won't watch it again either. Nothing to do with aliens or government conspiracies. It was about psychics. The storyline was also a bit vague. I guess it could've passed as one TV episode, but a whole movie? No wonder it tanked. And Skinner made an appearance almost at the end.

The highlight of the day - after watching The X-Files, we went to karaoke! With Mokz and Nora. We sang our hearts out. Suara tak sedap pun lantak la... Haha. Mokz surprisingly can sing quite well. Anuar Zain's songs, ok... G, as usual, with his ol' skool rock songs... We went to Red Box in Sunway Pyramid. Not bad lah... We can do this again next time. Maybe next year? The voice has to recover... :)

I just lost what I wrote earlier. I was somehow disconnected during my rant. I'm now a deflated balloon...

Recap...

Last night G and I + Mokz and Nora stayed up until midnight poring through, editing, correcting and correlating the facts and figures of Project1's business plan. I know that we're helping Adik Bongsu la, but for heaven's sake, if this company is riding on this guy wanting to do everything himself, then I think we're doomed from the start.


I mean, come on la. I know that he's been living golf all his life, but if he wants to make this business happen, then he's got to start taking responsibility for what he wants to do. If he can't do it, then delegate! Jeez, this is the problem with Malays (in general), we want easy money, and we are easily distracted by the bigger picture. No one wants to look into the details - we have to put the small puzzle pieces together first! When there are people willing to help, suddenly you get paranoid - what's the catch? - and you become afraid of losing control, and you decide to work on your own and do things hush-hush... OMG!!! Then it's really a waste of time and energy. I have better things to do man...

I was already quite upset when G and I discussed this after Mokz and Nora left. But I held my tongue, because G was already agitated, and if I pressed further, we'd surely end up in a fight. So what else to do? Rant in my blog lor...

Seems the Chinese horoscope for the Oxen in this year of the Ox is quite true. My already short fuse is shorter...

I'm really exhausted after searching and reading webpage after webpage of schools for D. There's just so much information to sift through. I know D is only starting Standard 1/Primary 1 next year, but as those who know me would know, I will research until I am fully satisfied on what options I have for D. So I have to do this now. G and I have to be prepared with the budget and all the necessary documents. And I don't want to rush on making decisions which would affect D's future...

Hmm, then this makes this Resolution 5: Find a school for D. Status: Ongoing. Very slowly. Timeline: June. At least that gives me 6 months to complete this...

So what school am I looking for? One with English as the medium preferably, so that limits my choices to private schools (insya-Allah we can afford it), and one which is a proper school - not shoplots nor bungalow lots please - with proper school facilities... And one which has basic teachings of Islam - I don't really want D to be a zealot, nor do I want him to turn into a barbaric pagan. Preferably also one which is located near where we are staying - I don't really fancy sending him somewhere all the way in KL. Worst case scenario, we have to move to wherever he's going... [Shudder]

And of lesser priority, I would like if his class can be smaller in number - not 50 children - so that D can get enough attention from the teacher. I would also prefer if the school do not only stress on academics, but also other skills like language, sports or arts. I would also very much prefer schools that have passionate and dedicated teachers (maybe like cilibo before his promotion?) so that D can appreciate going to school.

Ah, what am I saying? Is there such a school? I may have to settle for whatever I can get at the most competitive cost, and all parents want the best for their children, no?

I went to one school today - APIIT Smart School in Jalan Lapangan Terbang Subang. Link is: http://smartschool.apiit.edu.my/

Well, firstly, the school is somewhat way further than I originally thought, as I drove slowly along the narrow winding road. The guards were quite professional, they asked me whether I had an appointment, and gave me a visitor's pass plus a slip to be signed by who I'm meeting with, and then gestured somewhat non-directionally towards the main entrance when I asked where I can find this person I'm supposed to meet. Huh? moment no.1...

I managed to find the office, then saw the woman I was supposed to meet (I looked at her name tag), but she then answered the phone as I was walking in (huh? moment no.2), so I kinda hung around for several seconds until another lady came up to me asking me whether I wanted to see somebody. I was then very nicely showed a table where I can sit and wait.

The whole session lasted only for half an hour, and I got most of the info I need. The disappointing things were that the rep I met didn't even offer to show me around the school (I suppose this can only be done during open days), nor was she very enthusiastic on selling me what the school has to offer (huh? moment no.3... maybe it's already past 2pm and she's dying to go home). I did ask to be informed when the next open day was, so G and I can have a look at the facilities and make an informed decision.

After reaching home, I went straight to the net. Some schools that I'm interested to check out:

1. Integrated School Shah Alam. Link is: http://www.issa-primary.com/
2. QIDS Integrated School. Link is: http://www.qids.org.my/ but the site is not accessible. Dunno what's wrong. May have to physically check out the school, but school is in Damansara Utama? Not sure whether only kindy or have primary school...
3. Sekolah Sri KDU. Link is: http://www.srikdu.edu.my/ but the school is in Kota Damansara? Highly unlikely but just a possibility.
4. ADNI Islamic School. Link is: http://www.adni.edu.my/ but the site is also not accesible. And the school is in Ampang? Aiyoo. May have to scratch this one out.
5. Sekolah Seri Cahaya. Link is: http://www.sericahaya.edu.my/ but looks very Chinese. Not sure whether workable or not...

Ada lagi la a few schools, but I'm tired already. It's now almost 7pm!!!

Lo and behold, it's already past the middle of January. Now we have 11 and a half months (thereabouts) left to do whatever we have set ourselves to accomplish this year. How fast time flies... Let's see - what did I accomplish since my last blog entry? Status checks on 2009 resolutions: ...

Resolution 1: go to the gym and work out for at least an hour (cardio, upper body, lower body and abs) every weekday. Status: ongoing, so far, so good - only missed one day (last Thur) last week.

Resolution 2: check and update all bill/receipt/documents filing. Status: completed. Woo-hoo!

Resolution 3: shred and/or recycle all obsolete documents/papers on the bookshelves. Status: not even started. Malassss!

Resolution 4: attend courses for self-upgrade. Status: got timetable for one, must check the other before confirming which course to go to. Timeline: end Jan. Priority!

Resolution 5: eh, rasanya ada 4 resolutions je... hehe.

I feel much better today - so does G and the boys. By Friday, Ibu and Papa should be here already, for the CNY break. And on Saturday, I'll be off to PD for one night - hen party with da sisters! Woo-hoo! Can't wait to get together with Along, Angah, Ayang and Baby (pity Ijut (a.k.a. Achik) can't make it. Sigh.)... It's been a long time (and overdue!) since we could gather around (just us girls) and just catch up. Plenty of stories to share, and plenty of girl-talk to go around. Best-nya! Just like old times when in the "U".

We used to be so close - all 6 of us. Haha. Sape tak kenal geng Aznita kat KK6 dulu? After matriculation, we went our separate ways, got married, had kids, and now, after so long (~15 years), we finally can get together (well, most of us) and just chill... Look out for my entry after Sunday! Can't wait!

Ok - back to reality - tomorrow I have that appointment with D's potential school. Kinda nervous about that. But G is right, we have to look at other prospects available for our children. Kalau mampu and ada peluang, apa salahnya... Then have to make another appointment for the other potential school - looks like Wed's afternoon plan. Friday ada lunch date (God-willing) with SW. Wonder how that girl's holding up since I left. Alaa, sure ok punya. I'm expendable... Hehe.

Oh yes, have to also plan to meet Adek one of these days. January is full for her... Feb looks more feasible... And Sali. And Shidah. Along pulak tentative timing for her "majlis" in April... A's appointments and operation timing... Fuiyoo... Cuti ni, makin busy pulak!!! But I'm happy!

I'm not feeling well. Since yesterday. I blame G for this. He's got sore throat and a cold, and now I've been infected. The whole family (plus the maid) is starting to come down with flu. My sinus cavities are filling up as we speak. Grr. Last night I took a muscle relaxant pill (coz I ache all over!) and something for my "wind" headache, and this morning, I could barely keep myself awake to send D to school. I got home in one piece, and slept throughout the morning. Now am feeling slightly better.

Needless to say, I didn't go to the gym. Double grr. But I wasn't planning to go anyway. I wanted to take Wan Umi to Serdang for her checkup, but she text-ed me this morning saying there's no need for me to do so. Thank goodness, coz at the rate I'm moving about, kang kita plak yang masuk hospital... Still, I'm a bit woozy and feeling extremely lethargic. Rasa nak tido je... Triple grr.

What else am I supposed to do tapi belum buat? Take passport-sized pictures. Start shredding old documents. That's the priority at the moment. Ooh, and follow up with G about H meeting Dato' this morning about the academy plan. Just waiting for the GO signal...

Sigh. I still feel weak. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! I'll update the blog when I'm more lucid. Heheh.