This week I saw a side of G that I don't see very often - disorganized. Yeah. He's a perfectionist. By nature, and by training. So when I see this side of him, it just reminds me that he is himself imperfect. And though I accept him with all his flaws (as he accepts mine), it does annoy me. Sometimes immensely. Like today.
It just started with the plan I made with Liz to get our hair done. (Btw, her hair color is absolutely GORGEOUS. I wish I had the guts (and the skin tone) to do the same.) G decided to get M and T (and A) to join him in a virtual golf game somewhere near where Liz and I were planning to go, and got into this spin-cycle of planning and cancelling, and re-planning, etc... He even decided to bring the boys along. Already we got into a bit of an argument when he "casually" suggested that N comes with me and Liz. Fact was he already discussed with M and then let me know the plan. Which didn't coincide with mine.
I'm not really sure why it pi$$ed me off about N joining us. Maybe 'twas the idea that this thing Liz and I were going to do is "our" thing. But I felt strongly that N may not be comfortable - the salon we went to is a bit pricey, and could make her feel inferior, and I never want to do that to her. She's much too nice. When I tell G about how I felt, he just pished-poshed the whole thing. Like HE knows how a woman's mind works. He already has enough trouble with me.
Maybe N wouldn't mind, I don't know. But I don't even want to put her in that position in the first place. And G doesn't get it. Arrrghh! It just makes me so mad at him.
Anyhoo, that's water under the bridge. After Liz and I were done with our business, we went to BSC, where he and the boys (and the men) were. And when we got there, A was crying and the maid told me he's hungry, and I just went into my silent treatment mode. When we plan something to include the children, their needs come first. And food is one of the basic needs. I just can't tolerate it when this is not taken into consideration. He decided to bring the boys, right? So it's his responsibility.
I was fuming. And also hungry. And of course G picked up the vibe, and got all agitated. And he was also hungry. So everybody was hangry (hungry+angry).
We couldn't decide where to have lunch in BSC, so we ended up leaving BSC and went to McD Bangsar for a very late lunch. A fell asleep in my arms after a handful of fries, and a bottle of milk. Geram betul! But at the end of it, we trashed it out in the car (which is not good really because we had heated verbal exchange in front of D) and worked it out.
Lesson learnt: Don't plan "me" time on weekends. If we do, plan something else for the children. It's not worth the emotional trouble.
Which brings me to correlate what happened today with the title of this blog entry. I'm not sure whether me being home more will trigger more "unhappiness" between G and me. We both have our own ideas how things should be done, and we both get upset when our plans don't go accordingly. Like I said, he's a perfectionist. Unfortunately, I'm an idealist. And we both want to please each other (and other people) at the same time. So at times, we can be at loggerheads and although we trash it out eventually, it gets superheated. I do foresee some dark times ahead...
I dunno. Maybe I should take up that 2-day week offer.
Today passed so quickly. Macam tak percaya I've got only 2 more working days to go before I'm officially off for 1 year. (This is besides the fact that I was asked to freelance 2 days a week.)
Today was also a day I had a chat with R and J. The former in the morning, as we waited for the time to back to the factory for a tasting session. The latter in the evening, after I finished updating that exhaustive excel sheet, before going back home.
I hardly have heart to heart chats with R, since I don't think I'm that close to her, but today, somehow, she decided to share a secret with me. And we talked about being mothers and daughters (and grandmothers on her part). I also shared some personal experience with her. I hope it helped.
The chat with J, on the other hand, was more J imparting her wisdom of her long life, personally and professionally. We also talked about opportunities and risks, more so looking at next year's outlook with regards to the global financial crisis. It did get me re-thinking about the decision to take the year long sabbatical leave. Hmm...
No. We have decided. G and I gave it a lot of thought, and a lot of preparation. It is what we have to do. I pray that we have made the right decision at the right time. Insya-Allah.
Monday is the the first day of the Islamic calendar. By Thursday, it will 2009. New chapters of our lives will unfold. I'll be working on several personal targets/resolutions.
May Allah bless us all...
p.s. Forgot to mention about my day of pampering yesterday @ Andana Spa. All in all, I had a great time catching up with Liz. The service was great, but the place looked a bit run down. And they had quite a crowd. The VIP rooms were fully booked, and the lounges were occupied, though not fully. I can't imagine what it must be like if it was the weekend. Liz said the last time she went (which was on a weekend), it was full house! [Shudder]
Anyhoo, we each got body treatments and pedicures. Thought to get a facial as well, but too pricey. Nasibla the body treatment got promotion. Hehe. Got to try other places next time...
Yesterday, SL, IW and I went for lunch with a supplier in PJ Hilton's japanese restaurant (I can't remember the name for the life of me! Will check later. Got it - Genji!) and had a nice sashimi appetizer, and all of us had bento sets. I took the unagi! My favourite.
Great conversation, but it mostly was us talking. The supplier kept pretty quiet much of the time, coz basically she doesn't have a clue to who and what we were talking about. :)
Genji PJ Hilton is well known anyway, so no need to do review lah.
Today was another farewell lunch - with big boss this time. And I didn't manage to do much work, because head office have the afternoon off. So, the review.
d'italiane kitchen @ Jaya 33 Review
Well, YN and I went with SL's car although she was supposedly on leave today (ya, we had to hear how she was cleaning house...) and got there earlier than everyone else. The place had a nice ambience, and my only complaint was that the table-setting had very little arm space, so we're practically rubbing elbows with one another as we eat.
The lunch crowd was substantial - plenty of tables with more than 8 people in a group. They must be pretty popular...
Anyhoo, I couldn't keep track of everybody's dishes (there were 18 of us, I think), so I'll just write about what I had. I had the Mushroom Soup (on the waiter's recommendation) and Sicilian Grilled Chicken Salad. SL ordered Garlic Bread as appetizer, so I ate some of that with my soup. And it's pretty damn good. And the portion was huge! I basically was stuffed to my nose trying to finish just the soup and the salad.
The soup was more like the wild mushroom soup variant (although it wasn't said in the menu) and came with plenty of button mushroom bits as well as several big slices. It was also creamy, but light, and I finished the bowl in a jiff (it was already nearly a quarter to 2pm - i was famished!). Ahhh... The salad was also quite light, colorful, lightly seasoned with balsamic vinegar and had bits of mango and grapes (pleasant surprise), BUT the grilled chicken was covered in some kind of cream sauce that was ok at first, but after the soup, was too much "jelak" for me... Probably if I had some sort of a consomme earlier, maybe it would've been just nice...
The rest of the gang had angel-hair pasta, lamb shank, chargrilled sirloin steak, pizza... a variety of stuff. Like I mentioned earlier, the portions were big, so needless to say, most of us opted not to have dessert. Except for SL and YN - they wanted to try the mascarpone, which in the end, tasted a bit medicinal. Urgh. Maybe we're too full already. :P
They don't have a website, but there are plenty of other reviews available online (just Google it!), and I got the following link just to see the food shots and get contact number (in case we wanna go again) - http://www.jaya33.com/retail_outlets/ditalian.html
Afterwards, I left for home and waited for G to go pick up the boys from Wan Umi's house. The boys were glad to see me (big hugs and kisses) and D finally got his toy boat from Wan Umi. Sigh. D's getting too clever. He now knows that he can get what he wants from his grandparents, when he can't get it from his parents. What's a parent to do when children are spoilt by the grandparents? Ni belum A lagi... Sigh.
Tomorrow I'm going to Andana Spa with Liz. I was already thinking about getting pampered by myself even if Liz didn't ask me. I blame the department retreat we had in Tioman! That's when I really got hooked on all this pampering stuff. G says I'm spoiled... He's right... :)
Yup. Am counting the days. One of my resolutions is to keep blogging about my time off, and especially keeping a food journal. I have plans, y'know. Places to go, people to see, things to do. So, yeah, I'm sorta looking forward to it.
But in the mean time, I'm being used as an excuse for the work-gang to go out for lunch.
Banquet @ Bangsar Village 2 Review
On Wednesday, some of my colleagues and I went out for a long lunch (we shouldn't, but ahh, 'tis the season to be jolly, no?) to Banquet @ Bangsar Village 2. It was nice. We shared each other's food, so I had a bit of this, a bit of that. Not cheap though. One meal can set one off about RM50 (plus govt and service taxes). So not so often lah. Hehe.
I had the set lunch menu - pita bread with 3 types of dips (chickpea, hummus and yoghurt+coriander, I think) as the entree, the main was pan fried dory with snake green beans and orange juice. But I had a taste of YN's squid ink risotto (it was nice! unbelievable! but we all had black teeth and tongue for a while... :P), and also Chef's risotto with porcini mushrooms. We all shared garlic bread, and for dessert, 3 types of crepes - with banana, raspberry jam, honey+lemon) and also creme brulee! It was madness. We were so full, by the time we went back to the office - urgh, didn't feel like working already. Haha.
Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures. I guess I should, but I dunno. I had a funny feeling that the establishment's management may not take too well to my picture taking. But I have this funny feeling all the time when I eat out. I'd love to play food critic, so, yeah, I should start taking pictures of what I eat...
Anyway, the entree was good! The pita bread was cut into 6 pieces, and the 3 types of dips were served in little bowls, and the chickpea was the best, in my opinion. YN's squid ink risotto was NOT what I expected. Ya lah, the whole dish being totally black in color, but sprinkled with some finely diced red capsicum (I think) that gave the dish a nice color contrast. And it tasted nice! It had a seafood-y flavor, but a nice balance of salty and savoury and creamy texture. It was a pleasant surprise.
Chef's risotto with porcini mushroom had strong mushroom flavor, and was a bit too heavy on the cream for me, but still pleasant, although I don't think I could finish a whole plate. And my mains came with generous portions of pan-fried fish fillets that sat on a bed of crunchy snake green beans, and mushroom sauce (which tasted very similarly to Chef's risotto). After all the tasting, I could hardly finish even half of the serving (luckily YN and Chef helped).
The crepes were lightly thin, and unsweetened, which enhanced the natural sweetness that was given by the filling. The creme brulee, on the other hand, was a bit too sweet and milky for my liking, but the caramelized surface was perfect.
All in all, it's a place I'd go with G and recommend to friends. Btw, they do have local delicacies served (like nasi lemak, curry mee, etc.), it's just that we decided to go western this time. Hehe.
Secret Recipe @ Wisma Thrifty, PJ
Today SR and I went with SL for my "au revoir" lunch, and sad to say, we are sorely disappointed with the food. Already a bad omen, SL requested for the Thai Fried Rice, and the answer we got is that the chef is not yet in, and the assistant cook at the back doesn't know how to prepare it, so no fried rice.
O-kay. Bad news no. 2, SL and I asked for the mushroom chicken with herbed rice, and bbq chicken with herbed rice, respectively, and while SL didn't like her food, my bbq chicken didn't come with bbq sauce, but instead came with a tomato-chilli sauce like concoction that resembles something like the sauce that goes with hainan chicken chop, minus the garnishes that usually goes with it, like the diced tomato, onion, etc. I don't know how to explain it, but needless to say, I was disappointed.
Last bad news, for dessert, I recommended the cheese brownie, which Sharon got for me once, but this time, it was dry and flaky, and not nice. Like it's been in the display for too long. Much too long.
They have deteriorated. Am not recommending this outlet to anyone.
But the company was great, which made the lunch worthwhile. :)
I probably over-reacted. But I tell you, I was scared $***le$$.
Story is - G and I booked a flight for the boys and the maid to go back to KB yesterday, ETD SBG 2.25pm and ETA KB 3.25pm. Things went well in the morning. We went to Mokz's house earlier coz he invited us - ada nasi dagang! And then we went to the airport. Ayah Su and Cik Su were there too, to see the boys off. Checked in the boys and Oom without much fuss, and after the plane took off, we left the airport to get some grub before embarking on a movie marathon. At least, that was the plan.
G got some pizza from Domino's Carrefour Subang, and we went back home. Whilst munching on a piece of NY Crust, after several calls to Ibu, we got to know that the FY2064 flight hasn't landed in KB. Alarm bells went off in my head, but it was raining, and we knew it's the rainy season in KB, so we were thinking that the flight may be slightly delayed.
Then, Ibu called again, to say that they heard an announcement - the boys' flight was diverted back to Subang. The alarm bells rang louder, and I called the airline to check the situation. Well, they were trying to be helpful, but the info I got from them was not the same. G and I quickly decided to go to the airport again. And then we saw that there was no plane on the tarmac. Needless to say, the alarm bells were like wailing sirens now.
The not-knowing was killing me. I was trying to keep positive, but all I think of was that I was not with them. I was not with them. How can I let them go on a plane, by themselves, in this kind of weather? I can't tell what else went on in my head. I could only pray that the boys come home safely to us.
We waited at the ticketing counter and I was frantically trying to call Oom (I must've called her 15 times at least). We spoke to the person at the counter the first chance we got. He directed us to the office at the back of the check in counters. We explained what info we have (my voice was cracking with emotion), and the guy in charge (bless his heart) told us that the plane just landed in Subang. Alhamdulillah. The plane was rescheduled to fly back to KB, but I was having none of that. I just told him that I want my boys back, and it doesn't matter whether they refund me or not, I just want my boys back.
They were sensitive enough to see that I would've teared the plane apart if I can't get them off it, so they graciously told me that they would get the boys' luggage and all, and would escort them to me from the departure hall.
And then, I finally got to talk to Oom, and I burst into tears. It was like a flood of emotion. I talked to D, and he said to me,"Ibu, we're back at the start. I want to go home." I cried even more.
As G and I waited for the boys to come out, we saw that the flight to Penang was cancelled, and passengers were leaving the departure hall as well. The weather was just too much to handle.
When I saw the boys coming out of the departure hall, my heart beat so hard that I thought it was just going to jump out of my chest. I've never felt such great relief as I felt yesterday. It was really something. Thankfully, A was asleep throughout the whole episode, and we were in our car within half hour after that.
Later in the car, Oom told me that at 3.30pm in KB as the plane attempted to land, shaking in the turbulence, the clouds and sky was as black as night. Apparently the pilots made the landing attempt twice and upon failing to do so, came back to Subang (G said it's standard procedure).
Sigh. So we (G and I and the boys and Oom) are leaving tomorrow morning for KB via land. A day earlier than we originally planned, but whatever happens, the boys are with me and G. We're together. That's all that matters.
Ya Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, your servants humbly thank you.
The plan to have adults only get-together once a month, that is. Last night, G and I went to dinner with two couples. The boys were sent to Mak Usu's house - ada barbeque. We went to TGIF Subang Parade, and had a gala time laughing. We were so noisy, maybe they cleared everyone else from the non-smoking session (by the time we left, we were the only ones there!).
It was fun. Last month dgn Liz with our fine-dining experience, and this time around dgn Nora and Bardunk's wife - apekenamenya - ha, Nurul. Next month, tak tau lagi la.
But it's great fun. I don't deny the power of laughter. Tapi semalam sampai senak perut listening to Mokz and Bardunk's story-telling. Ntah apa-apa. Good times.
Today we're planning to bring the boys to see Bolt. Promised D we'll go to see this movie after Madagascar 2 hari tu. Tomorrow noon, we'll be sending the boys to KB via flight. The plan is to drive up to KB on Thurs and drive back to KL on Sat or Sun. But looking at the weather, I have no idea whether we want to brave the possibility of the flood. G's checking the weather report every few minutes now.
Seems like I'm a planner, ya? I suppose so. I have plans and backup plans and backup plans to the backup plan (phew!) for almost everything. I wish I could say that everything I planned (and had backup plans for) goes according to plan. Kita cuma merancang, Allah yang menentukan, kan?
Sigh. D is in a "not-much eating" phase. Last 2 weeks, he had a nasty episode when he had a binge (that's all I can say to describe what Bibik Oom told me) - 2 full bowls of breakfast cereals, then rice, then orange juice, then milk, then cookies - not necessarily in that order, and I can't remember the others. He was pleading Bibik to bring him to the hospital! Sakit sangat dah tu. She gave him gripe water, and massaged his tummy with oil, and he gave the loudest and longest burp ever to come out of his 5+ year old mouth. Ever since then, he gave strict instructions to Bibik that he wants to eat (and drink) only "sikit". And he's kept to it. So he's slimmed down quite a bit. Kesian.
Wish I had his determination. Hehe.
I'm in a hotel, with the boys and G - just having a weekend away from home.
G made it back home yesterday (or else I have to drive by myself!), and both of us drove all the way to SP today. The plan is to eat! Since Mokz and Nora are already here, they'll be our food guide. And I trust Mokz's tummy... :)
I was on MC yesterday. The day before, already woke up with a headache, but went to work anyway since I had a workshop to attend. Tough luck, lunch was delayed to after 1pm, and by then, my head was throbbing like mad (angin dah naik ke kepala) - my veins felt like they were going to burst. Ok la, 'twasn't so dramatic, but enough to make me skip the afternoon session and get MC yesterday.
I know what my boss may be thinking of me. I've been on MC a lot these past few months. Not by my own design, though. What can I do if I have 2 types of intermittent headache attacks? The vertigo type, and this "angin" (wind) type - which, by the way, can lead to a severe migraine.
So do I care what she thinks of me? I guess I do. As I've been saying of late, I MALAS to get my a$$ to work. I question my drive, I question my morals, I question my life-purpose... And ok lah, I admit, I do take every opportunity available to skip work. This of course doesn't bode well for my supposedly aspirational career path. I feel guilty, and slightly ashamed. I don't want to leave a legacy of "bad" behaviour, but... I dunno. I'm so impulsive nowadays. I'm not sure where my rational head went. Sometimes I think I sabotage myself. On self-destruct mode. Hmm... that's an interesting thought.
But in any case, I can't come right out and say it like it is, right? So I slink away quietly? Leaving those questioning minds unanswered, and disappear into oblivion?
Argh. I've only got a month plus to go! Steadfastness, don't fail me now! I have to prevail!
I miss G. Next week Friday only the boys and I will see him, since he can't come back home this weekend. I've just gotten used to having him around, having left my weekend wife days ~ 2 years ago... Hehe. Mengada2 pulak.
So tomorrow my aunt's coming over dgn anak2 dia, which means D has company and so will I. Basically the plan is to stay at home. If it doesn't rain, maybe we'll go to the golf club pool.
My mood has been as gloomy as the weather. I'm short with the kids, the maid. Sigh. G, I need you to balance my chi. I especially don't feel like going to work. Malas! I don't look forward to it. I used to. I'm so counting the days to start of the sabbatical leave.
And so I envy those who are so passionate about what they do. I wish I still have that drive, that passion, that zeal. It used to make me want to go that extra mile. Give it the last push and all I've got. And have that sense of accomplishment at the end of it. Don't think I've accomplished much lately. Boss pulak have great expectations. Double sigh.
As usual, when I'm in my "sombre" mood, tadi in 1 Utama, I thought of retail therapy. Tapi, I managed to restrain myself from making unnecessary (and possibly regret later) purchases to make myself happy. I read about this in an article somewhere, sometime ago. Can't quite remember the title of the article now... something about being happy - small town vs big city style. It was an interesting read.
1st resolution for 2009 - manage budget! Got to have that budget worked out with G...
2nd resolution for 2009 - manage time! Got to start working on the timetable...
Tapi takde mood laaa...
Gosh. Where do I start?
Let's see. Raya came and went. D had his school concert. (I finally saw what the "Ultraman" pose was all about.) Had a blast meeting up with old, old friends in the Raya month (due to all the open house invites!). And I was hospitalized for a night some time end Oct for vertigo. Long story. But in short, vertigo is incurable, and I just have to take care of meself.
And last night, I had a good time - it's been a while since G and I went out to an adults only dinner. We must do this again some time. I mean, it's great family quality time to go out with the boys and all, but I believe, as last night has proven, it's equally great to just hang out and have a laugh with other people in your age group... :)
So we went to this place called NEROVIVO -I got it off the net while going through the participating restaurants list in the Malaysian International Gourmet Festival (going on all this month of November). Earlier, we had planned to go to Tuscany (PutraJaya Marriot Hotel) but it was just too pricey! RM115++ for a 3 course dinner. Aisey. Not worth it, man.
So, since I got Liz's agreement that we go Italian this time, NEROVIVO seemed the best pick.
When G and I got there, the place was teeming with patrons. Fortunately I had made reservations earlier in the week, so we got our table pronto. The ambience was nice. The staff was friendly. And the place seemed a hit with expats. Honestly, looking at the other diners, it seemed that we were somewhere else not in KL. Then again, I guess it was my party that seemed out of place... :p
I'm not getting into the details (I dunno whether Liz will elaborate on her blog), but suffice to say, we all agreed to give the place a 5 (on a scale of 10). Food was so-so (but we all gave thumbs up on the antipasti and dessert) - 'twas the presentation that brought the whole fine dining experience a tad down. I mean, the MIGF website said "extra special menus, extra special experience". Well, I didn't see the "extra" bit lah.
Maybe it's like G said - we were expecting what we see shown on the Asian Food Channel. It was a bit of a let down. But we did have a good time in each other's company. Tam and G took the opportunity to discuss business. Oh well. At least I got him to do this with minimal kicking and screaming.
That's it for this year's MIGF. One restaurant only. We'll see next year's festival...
p.s. How could I forget???!!! The other thing to commemorate in this blog. D lost his first baby tooth!!! Awwwwww......
Sambungan - Sunday's story.
We went to Ampang coz we had to get the pictures we sent for printing. Then we went to visit my eldest uncle (Ibu's eldest brother) - he just came out of Ampang Puteri due to an operation. I had to tell D repeatedly why we had to go and visit sbb dia tak nak pegi, and wanted to go to Ampang Point instead. Sigh.
Anyway, when we got to my uncle's house, and my uncle asked D for a check-up (since I kept teling D that Tok Long was sick), D put his hand on Tok Long's forehead and declared, "He's tak panas!". We all burst out laughing... Tak tau la nak jadi doktor ke anakku ini...
After that, we headed back to Subang/Shah Alam to get the boys a long, overdue haircut. A was first, coz D refused to go first and wanted ice-cream as incentive. Double sigh. So, A cried his lungs out when the clipper started buzzing. But we got his hair clipped crew-cut style... hehe. D pulak, was telling G how he wanted his hair cut, then went quiet when the haircut was ongoing, but... when it was done, he burst into tears! "I don't want it like this!" Alamak! We just told the barber to give him a number 2 cut on the sides, and a number 3 on the top, and Danial got upset!
My baby boy has started to care about what he looks like! I want to cry, I tell ya. Sebelum ni, he'd just wear what I put on him, eat what I put in front of him (ok lah, this part was until he's about 1 year old only...) and cry when he had his hair cut, but that's because he's scared of the barber... Now, he's upset because he felt he looked weird with the buzz cut.
I tried consoling him that his hair will grow, and I apologized repeatedly to him. He was feeling slightly better later, and you know what he said? "Ok, my hair will grow longer, and I will be Danial again."
It just damned well near broke my heart. I'm sorry, baby. We'll go to another place to get a nice hair cut next time, ok? And this time, I will listen to you what kind of hair cut you want.
p.s. Hari ni, he wanted to wear a cap. So that his friends won't see his hair. I feel so ashamed.
Maybe it's coming to "that" time of the month. I'm so irritable. Feeling so lethargic. Argh. Bosan.
Anyway, weekend ni agak sibuk with one major highlight. We went to D's usual saturday routine, and then, we went to my friend's open house. N pun pegi. This friend, whom N and I haven't seen in (mental arithmatic) 18 years (?)(sounds about right)... We were in touch via email, of course, but I haven't come face to face with her for 18 years - last was SPM year (Form 5) - when we were 17.
Then N and I met another friend - who came to the same open house - whom I also haven't met for the same period of time. It's just unbelievable. To see how we've "grown" (I meant myself) and came into our own after all this while. It's absolutely thrilling, and also nerve-wrecking, at the same time. We remembered each other as we were 18 years ago. Now we've each got our life stories so far, and I'm sure we've gone through many things in our own way. It'd be very interesting to get to know each other all over again.
My only regret - we didn't take any pictures to commemorate the event. Apa raa??? We've got to get together again and really take our time. My cue to take my leave was when D asked me,"Tibu, can we go home now?"
Who can resist that sweet face?
And to my newfound old friends, I hope this is only the beginning of more get-togethers...
Today I've come to the halfway mark to reach 40. How do I feel?
I still feel 20-ish. Then again, 30 is the new 20, right? So everybody tells me, age is just a number. How you feel inside matters more.
I guess being in my 30s, I feel more at ease with myself (though I still need to lose weight). Mellowed maybe? Less critical of others and, more importantly, of myself. Less taking things for granted. More stopping to smell the roses. Hmmm.
Lunch was great. Went out with colleagues for North Indian food. Food was good, and the company - fantastic. Kudos to YN who organized it. She's one cookie I admire greatly. Great combo of both soft and hard skills. Wish I had that...
Dinner was simple. Had a good laugh when the boys blew out the candle and cut the cake. Nothing beats celebrating the birthday with loved ones.
Apologies for the staccato flow. Am just writing what comes to mind. This time it happens like short idea bursts. Then again, I'm in a slightly pensive mood. Because tomorrow I have the monthly major presentation to top management. Everytime, without fail, I get the jitters. I hope I don't screw things up. Hopefully everyone's still in Raya mood... :)
Today's the second day this week I'm on MC. Pagi tadi bangun sahur with a head-splitting headache. Took 2 Panadol Actifast, went back to sleep, then still woke up with the same unbelievable headache.
Don't know what I ate or what I did that caused this.
On Tuesday, I arrived at work with gastric pains. I haven't had heartburn or gastric pains since I was pregnant with A. And no. I'm not pregnant. So I went to the nearest clinic at the office, got a jab in the arm, and went straight home.
The cutest thing was, I was sleeping when D got back from kindy, and the next thing I knew, he was standing next to me with his toy doctor's kit. Yep. He gave me a check-up. He was so serious about it, too. It was so cute. My baby's all grown up... *sigh*
Hari ni, fortunately G didn't leave for work yet, so he brought me to RSAT. After he brought me home and tucked me into bed, then he left for work. I was nauseous, couldn't open my eyes (coz the sunlight made the headache worse), and when I got to see the doctor, I was told that my BP is on the high. She of course asked me about my stress levels. Ey, who does not suffer stress these days, ya? And I got another jab. On the bum.
Last night, I had buka puasa session with work colleagues. Best jugak. It's great to have a social session after spending days of working with each other and getting on each other's nerves. But I don't know if 'twas something I ate that caused the headache to set in... Hmmm...
Ok-lah babes and dudes. I'm not fasting today - and I want to take the medication and go back to sleep. Tomorrow's still a working day. Arrgh...
p.s. No posts berbau politik hari ni... Tak larat...
Ahem. According to the Online Compact Oxford English Dictionary, the word similar is defined as:
• adjective 1 of the same kind in appearance, character, or quantity, without being identical. 2 (of geometrical figures) having the same angles and proportions, though of different sizes.
— DERIVATIVES similarity noun similarly adverb.
— USAGE Use the construction similar to, as in I’ve had problems similar to yours; it is not good English to say similar as, as in I’ve had similar problems as yourself.
— ORIGIN Latin similaris, from similis ‘like’.
Both G and I nearly fell off the bed laughing when we saw in the 8pm news that the newly released ex-ISA-detainee made another press conference today saying that she meant that the food provided for her during her detention was "slightly better" than dog food.
Then the news showed the clip (exactly the one we saw last night) where she clearly said that the food was "similar to dog food" (exact quote). Then she had the gall to say that the newspapers manipulated what she said. It's just hilarious. As a politician, isn't what you say is your promise to the people who voted you? So shouldn't you be careful of what you say? Especially in public, recorded by the media in video and audio?
I am on no one's side. I just find the whole drama so sad, it's funny. Let's see how the episode unfolds tomorrow. I'll be darned if some other smart aleck didn't pounce on this juicy bit and make it into a spectacle worthy of Malaysia Hari Ini...
Sometime ago, I told someone that I was not particularly interested in the country's current political situation. Was I selfish? Maybe. I had other things to focus on, namely work and family. So, I really didn't want to waste my energy on something I have very little control of.
Anyway, I've changed my tune since Sep 15th. A-ha. The very eve of the supposed takeover by the opposition party. Well, it got me interested. A bit.
So after all the hoo-hah, and watching the news this morning, where one politician was explaining how he was approached by a certain businessman to "jump" party, I can only say - who do you distrust more? It seemed blatantly clear to me that every participant in the on-going turmoil has his/her own agenda. Each and everyone.
Look, if I were in a position of power, or even if I am financially capable to do so, I would help my family. I would. Wouldn't you? It's just our nature, our culture. You take care of family. You are bound by blood. Don't tell me you won't play any favoritism. I don't have to be in a position of power to tell you that I take care of my family first. The rest can come later.
So I guess the question is - how far would you go to "take care" of your family. Human nature also has proven that we can never have enough. We have been "programmed" to strive for more. We have been taught to want better lives for our children. Which means more things, more comfort, more easy - so that our children have no need to work as hard, or strive much more than we do right now, in order to get to where we are.
Which brings me to the other question - what values do we teach our children? We must not lie, or steal, or hurt. We must be compassionate, sincere, and do our best - in whatever we do. We must not take what we have for granted. We have to work hard to maintain what we have.
Aren't the above what we should do for our country too?
Haven't been blogging for a long while now. I do need some space to vent - when no one is around to listen. Hope this would be the start of something new...
Today my boss (I should say she's my senior colleague lah) asked me whether I'd like to join a session that will involve regional participants - sometime 2nd week of Jan next year. Wait. Let me re-phrase that. My boss asked me to join the session.
No big deal really. Only that I'll be taking sabbatical leave next year. Why? Because I have to.
No. Not really. I need to. And not solely due to the reasons I gave to the company, my boss, my colleagues, my friends. I just have to get away. I gave 10 years of my life to doing something that I envisioned to be a noble cause. I spent almost every waking hour of those years working, or thinking about work. Am still spending it as such.
I guess a lot of people find work therapeutic. It's a way to escape from the other harsh reality - family life. Unlike family life, work provides a separate space, a separate group of people to interact with, an alternative environment where you can, to a certain extent, be an individual.
In family life, you're either a mother or a father, a son or a daughter, a sister or a brother, etc. Most times, you're all that. Don't you think?
I'm the designated coordinator for family events. Most of the time, I guess I don't mind. Because I accepted it as part of my responsibility. I'm the eldest daughter. The eldest granchild. The eldest daughter-in-law. The mother-hen. My better half is the eldest son, too. I guess we're just naturally the leaders of the pack.
But I was not so, when I was younger. I always did as I was told. I speak only when spoken to. I usually find it hard to articulate my words - just for the simple reason that I think before I speak. Probably I do that too much. Then again, when I speak, others listen... Which is the good part. :p
I remember at one point, my mom told me that I have changed. I'm no longer the shy, obedient girl I used to be. This was during the early tumultuous times of my married life. Plenty of drama then.
I guess I have my work to thank for that. I'm expected to be assertive, be bold, be courageous. Somewhere along the line, I evolved. But somehow, I feel that I'm losing myself. I act assertive, bold and courageous. I find myself speaking harshly at times, even when I don't mean it. But if I don't, then things won't get done. And I find myself being taken advantage of. And that happens more times than anyone thinks.
I feel as though I'm behaving against my nature. I see that happening to those colleagues of mine who joined the company at the same time as I did. Is this what progress means? That you change yourself in the best interest of the people who pay you to increase their profit? This is really putting it bluntly, but there it is. The honest truth.
So I ask myself. What do I need to do to find myself again? I don't have to tell you those who told me that what I intend to do is ridiculous. What more with the current global financial crisis. I'm just letting the fat paycheck get away. Which is why, I'm taking leave. Not quitting altogether. And what p***** me off is - why I have to explain myself. This is my life, isn't it? Am I not the one who has to live my own life?
It goes back to what I said earlier. We're all mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, friends, lovers, enemies, what-have-you. What we do affects everyone around us. Even those we can't see, or don't even know. I'm still having trouble grasping my brain around this fact. I don't even know whether it makes sense... I'm just really looking forward to the year-long leave. Maybe, if our (well, it's more G's) lofty plans fall into place, I may as well just quit. Hmm...
Big D is next to me, and reading what I write aloud. For a 5-year old, his pronunciation is pretty good. Think it's time to stop blogging now. Till next time.
